At first self-doubt spoke up and said, "Calm down Crystal you're are not that special." Then another voice chimed in and said, "Even if you are special, geesh! You don't want people to think to bragging about it." Wow! Where did those thoughts come from? All I wanted to do was feel special and now I'm talking myself out of it before I even get a chance! I just have to investigate this with a few questions of my own.
- What is so wrong with feeling special?
- If am special how is acknowledging it bragging?
- How does what "other people" think have anything to do with how special I am?
The answers I found were very telling.
- Feeling like I am special means that I'll have to treat myself accordingly and require that others do the same.
- Acknowledging that I am special is not bragging, it is simply stating a fact. I'm not saying that no one else is special, I'm just honoring what is special in me.
- Wow! Now this question was a doozie. I didn't think I cared that much about what "other people" thought about me. But since these "other people" popped up in my thoughts, I'd better address them. I realised feeling special is important to me and that honoring that doesn't take anything away from anyone. Now that I think about it, feeling special within myself actually helps me to see and appreciate the "specialness" in those around me even more.
So after much consideration and internal debate I decided that I am indeed special. Although I know I won't feel it every day, it's still true. When someone says or does something to challenge it, I'll do my dardest to remember it. And when my own internal voices start to question it, and I know that they will, I'll remind myself of truth in the answers above. I'll then answer back with a resounding ,"I AM special.......Darn it!"
What I have learned in relationships is that other people are not going to honor what we ourselves are not willing honor. Seeing and accepting what makes us special is crucial in building our relationship first with ourselves and then as those around us.
So what is special about you? How do you try to talk yourself out of it? Now I ask the you the question, "What makes YOU special......Darn it?"