Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Starting Over vs Starting Again

One thing I know a lot about, when it comes to love is "starting again". Notice I didn't say "starting over", because somehow those words make me feel like I have to give up all of what I have accomplished on the way to "starting again". I know it sounds crazy but it's true for me and maybe it will prove to be true for you too, let me explain a little bit about what I mean.

You see, I am a widow (very new 2 1/2 years) and I am also a wife (very, very new 10 months). And after being with one man for 16 years his passing initially made me feel like I had to start all over. I thought, "We somehow managed build a wonderful marriage through the all ups and downs of life and suddenly it's over". I felt so cheated! All my hard work, tears, joy. Heck! Sixteen years of my life was gone down the tube, wasted! Why did I have to start over? It didn't seem fair. But then something started to happen as I grieved and began to process what I truly lost. I began to realize that I didn't lose everything in that day. Yes, I did loose my husband BUT I didn't loose all that we shared or all that I was blessed to have learned and experienced. Then it hit me! I didn't have to, or even want to, start over. Life had thrown a huge boulder in my path and it did stop me BUT I could start again. I simply wanted to start again. And that's just what i did, with the warm, loving and rich memories of my past helping to propel me forward into a future that is just as much of a gift as my past was.

This is the place I find my life in right now. Starting again on a new adventure in my new life with a new husband. I am learning to honor my past and all that it offers while living in the richness of my present. The good, the bad all of it is mine, I get to choose what I take and what I leave behind. I'm not trying to say it's all peaches and cream, heck it can be pretty grueling at times. But I get to start again and that, I'm finding. is the biggest gift all.

Are there any areas in your life where you are dreading "starting over"? Are you in a place where you've lost something important (a relationship, a job or you've fallen off the wagon)? All is not lost, this is life and you get to start again as many times as you need to.

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