Wednesday, September 2, 2009

We Only Get One True Love?.........Really?

I have learned quite a bit in the last 33 months of my life. Becoming a widow and finding love again has brought many challenges and gifts. You see I had a theory before I became a widow. And that theory was "You Only Get One TRUE Love".

I truly believed that my first husband was the one and only love of my life and when he died my my time was up. Everybody said so. I saw it on TV and in movies. My family and friends even backed it up with, "You should be grateful, most people never even find what you had."

So, I sat around sad for a few months. Telling myself how greatful I should be and trying to accept that I would never feel love like that again. But as time went on something started to happen. I began to feel the urge to love again. And I'm not talking about some nansy-pansy, half and half love. I'm talking about some Jill Scott, Whatever Love. You know the kind LOVE that makes you smile when you think of him. The kind of Love that makes you close your eyes and hum to yourself. You know the kind of love I'm talking about!

Well, I was amazed to say the least. I was still in the throws of deep, gut wrenching grief but I knew I wanted to love and be loved again. And as hard as I was grieving, I knew that part of me would not be denied. I didn't quite know what to make of these feelings. I thank God that I had people in my life that assured me that these feeling were okay and encouraged me not to push them a side.

So, as I fumbled around with these feeling you'll never guess what happened.........I met my current husband. Imagine my surprise when all sorts of feelings began to pop up! Feeling I though were dead. Needless to say, my "one true love" theory was going to have to go.

As time went on I fell more and more in love with "the hubby". I began to realise that this love is just as true as the first love. People have asked me how could I love two men so deeply? I often respond with, "The same can you love two children so deeply. Having one child doesn't stop you from loving the next one just as deeply."

So these are two of the many lessons life has taught me:

  1. My capacity for love is great. It runs deeper than I could have ever imagined.

  2. From time to time I have to take a look at old ideas and mindsets and make sure they still belong in my life. My "one true love" theory was out dated and could have cost me the love of the beautiful man I am blessed to call my husband today.

When is the last time you checked your "theories"? What ideas are you carrying around that go unchallenged? My theory, left unchallenged, would have cost me a life full of love. What are yours costing you?


  1. Great post and good reminders. Our capacity to love is great because our God is GREAT! :O)

  2. So true, Diane. God is indees Great and I am so greatful for his loving kindness and guidence through the darkest hours of my life.