Since 2006, this time of year brings all kinds of emotions. You see, November 8 was my 38th birthday. November 12th was my late husbands birthday. And November 17th, marks the three year anniversary of his passing.
Every year I relive some sadness. I grieve the life that ended too soon. I cry for myself, my son and every family member that has to live without his bright smile and loud belly laughs. But this year something is different. I feel the need to celebrate too. I celebrate myself, my new life and the chance to love again.
And I re-recognize a truth that I know but often forget: We really do get to have the lives we choose. Life happens, and sometimes it hurts like hell BUT I still get a choice. I can choose a new perspective, to change my mind, to worry myself or to let something go. I get to choose everyday. I guess the thing is what do I do with my choices?
I suppose I could choose to feel sad and spend my day in tears ( I certainly have a good reason), that's an option. Or maybe, I'll try to be all smiles and ignore the hint of sadness I feel. HMMMM, so many choices! Neither choice is good or bad. Either one could be right for me at any given time. I didn't cause this situation, and there is nothing I can do about the fact that time of year comes around every single year. But I do get to decide what I want to do with it.
I think today, I'll choose to smile and be grateful for the life I have. I choose to do it with a tinge of sadness, but I will rejoice none the less. I will continue learning to appreciate the past, while looking forward to my future. Finding hope in the fact that, although I don't control everything, I do get a choice. And the best part is: How I use my choice is up to me.
How are you using your choices?