Monday, November 16, 2009

Choices! Choices!

Since 2006, this time of year brings all kinds of emotions. You see, November 8 was my 38th birthday. November 12th was my late husbands birthday. And November 17th, marks the three year anniversary of his passing.

Every year I relive some sadness. I grieve the life that ended too soon. I cry for myself, my son and every family member that has to live without his bright smile and loud belly laughs. But this year something is different. I feel the need to celebrate too. I celebrate myself, my new life and the chance to love again.

And I re-recognize a truth that I know but often forget: We really do get to have the lives we choose. Life happens, and sometimes it hurts like hell BUT I still get a choice. I can choose a new perspective, to change my mind, to worry myself or to let something go. I get to choose everyday. I guess the thing is what do I do with my choices?

I suppose I could choose to feel sad and spend my day in tears ( I certainly have a good reason), that's an option. Or maybe, I'll try to be all smiles and ignore the hint of sadness I feel. HMMMM, so many choices! Neither choice is good or bad. Either one could be right for me at any given time. I didn't cause this situation, and there is nothing I can do about the fact that time of year comes around every single year. But I do get to decide what I want to do with it.

I think today, I'll choose to smile and be grateful for the life I have. I choose to do it with a tinge of sadness, but I will rejoice none the less. I will continue learning to appreciate the past, while looking forward to my future. Finding hope in the fact that, although I don't control everything, I do get a choice. And the best part is: How I use my choice is up to me.

How are you using your choices?


  1. I absolutely love this post and perhaps there is a reason I stopped today. ... You talk about the choice between the smiles and tears, yet ironically as I just posted my poem to my blog... I believe there is beauty in both as we waltz in the blend of smiles and tears and fully live the spectrum of life. Blessings to you

  2. Hi, what a beautiful post.
    We do have choices but for some of us it's just difficult to chose what to chose with.
    It may seem confusing but sometimes we chose with out brain, others with our heart. You just have to "learn" which one to use in each aspect of your life.
    I am sorry you are going through such a painful situation, sometimes we do not understand things that happen to us when they are up close, we have to give them a distance for them to make sense, although sometimes they just never do.
    I wish you wisdom to chose wisely... oh! and thank you for following my blog.

  3. I meant with OUR brain... not without :(

  4. What an insightful post. It's true, we have choices and the paths we take define how we experience a situation. So sorry for your loss - I cannot imagine what the past years have been like for you.