Thursday, August 20, 2009

Building a Conscious Relationship

As I work on building a new marriage I am truly learning the importance of building a conscious relationship. It can be quite overwhelming at times. It requires that I constantly stay aware of what is important to me and I state it clearly to my husband. Not assume that he knows or should know what I want or how I feel. It also means that I have to ask my husband what he means. Instead of making up stories about what I think he means. Oh, and did I mention realizing, understanding and honoring the fact that whatever my husband is going through, no matter how silly it is to me, is real to him.

Although, my husband and I both are learning and practicing these lessons, I am beginning to realise that the more I work on my part the more peace I have. Because I get to see just how much control I have when it comes to changing my own perspective. I also get to experience the power that comes along with being clear and asking for what I want, instead of waiting for him to figure it out. Sure, there are pit falls and we both mess up royally from time to time. Asking for what I want can be scary at times. The fear of being hurt, rejected or not heard has caused me to "act a fool" on more that one occasion. But the reward is, ahhhh, priceless.

By working diligently to build this "conscious relationship" I get to enjoy my marriage fully. Learning to communicate with my husband and teaching him how to communicate with me creates a safe and nurturing environment for our love to grow in. Using the these lessons also allows us to build the space in our marriage for the days that aren't so sunny. So, I guess I'll keep on a learnin' and I'll keep you posted!


  1. Great post and I don't just mean from a man's perspective. It works both ways. Sometimes I forget that something that seems silly to me is important to my wife. I have to learn to see it from her side.
    Thanks for visiting my new blog and siging up to follow.

  2. It can be really challanging at times but it really is worth it. Thanks for the comment!